The first part of my Closure blog was all about expressing your gratitude, releasing the pain, and accepting the fact that things didn’t and won’t workout for the two of you anymore; and all youwanted is a closure. Or maybe to some, a Closure is just the end of book 1 and the beginning of your book 2, that is if you’re still planning to give the person a 2nd chance. Either way, our common ground is we’re looking for that Closure. Kay para nato, Closure maoy makatubag sa atong mga pangutana, sa atong mga “Ngano?”, nganong mibiya ka’g kalit?, nganong wala naka nagparamdam?, nganong ing-ana kadali ko nimo gipulihan?, nganong nabuhat to nimo? Nganong giblock/unfriend dayon ko nimo’s Facebook without further explaining your side?
So this second part will be all about “How to get the Closure that we want”, either ihatag niya or pwede ikaw mismo ang mohatag sa imong self.
So, how to get Closure?
1. MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX - kana kung ang sinugdan or ang foundation sa inyong relationship kay friends mo kaayo before mo nagka-uyab. Then naay dakung chance nga magka friends ra mo’g balik. Just like me and some of my Exs. Friendship is probably one of the best ways to get a closure from your EX. Pero kung inyong pagka-uyab dinalian, like dili strong ang foundation, lisod na sya mahitabo. Sa kana nga case, an ex does not make a true friend, especially immediately after the breakup and especially he/she was never your close friend at the start, because s/he used to be just one of your random friends nya nagkadevelopay mo, nagka char-char, nya nagkakamo na dayon.
So, as much as possible, try to build a healthy friendship instead of a toxic relationship.
2. PASAYLOA IMONG EX - despite unsay rason nganong nagkabuwag mo, pasayloa sya. Dili tungod deserving sya, but because you deserve peace of mind. Yes, it might be difficult nga mapsaylo sya samot na kung ing-ana ka grabe iyang gibuhat nimo, wala lang siguro ka na inform nga animal imong na uyab, dili tao; so forgive him/her. So tangtanga sa imong pride kadali, your pride to say sorry, and your pride to accept apology bisan wala pa sya nangayo’g sorry nimo. Kung mahimo na nimo, you can say nga mature na ka, your bad experience with him/her made you a better person and you begin to think of the brighter side of things.
3. LET IT GO - dili na sya kutob ra’s kanta ni Elsa, sa imong kinabuhi gamita. Letting go is probably ang pinaklisod pero mao poy pinaka effective way to get closure. Don’t consume yourself sa bati nga nahitabo ninyo, aside nga mobati imong nawng kung mohilak ug magmaoy ka, lingering in your past relationship won’t help you. It will just kill you inside. So, try to focus sa mga positive sides sa imong kinabuhi, your friends, your family, your pet, career, you can travel, write a blog, or better write a song like Adele and Taylor Swift, kana, makakwarta pa ka. Isubmit dayon na nimo’s VisPop, basin mosikat na next to Haha Hasula.
4. PAGBALIK MO - Although advocate ko’s “Thou Shall Not Make Balik with Your Ex” kay na tagam nako, but probably, pwede sya para nimo, para ninyo. I know maka relate ta’s usag-usa most of the time, however, lahi-lahi man atong personal experiences, kay mag depende sa tao ug sadagan sa inyong relasyon, kay usahay, if nahigugma gyud ta’s usa ka tao, the time that we were apart, makes us realize nga love jud diay to nimo ang person. So, possible nga ang pagbalik is a closure, too.
There is no pain-free way to break up with someone. Kitang tanan, at some point in our life, would experience a heartbreak and a heartache. Mao sigurong gitudloan ta og “Close-Open” pagkabata nato dili lang tungod para sa atong kamot, para pod siguro sa atong kasing-kasing. If we learn to “Open” our hearts, we also need to learn how to “Close” it. Till my next blog. Thank you.
Thank you Mr. H Samuel Lloyd G. Bello for letting me use this aweSAM photo as my blog cover pic. 😊
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