Galisod bitaw ko kung unsaon ni nako pagsugod.
Sama kalisod katong nag-ila-ila pa ta.
Sama kalisod sa pagpanghid nako ni mama/papa nga manglaag ta.
Sama kalisod sa pag message nako nimo’g una aron mangutana kung “kumusta na ka?”.
Lisod kaayo ‘tong tanan, pero ngano sayon-sayon raman ko nimong gibiyaan?
Ing-ana pod ba kalisod moingon og “Sorry”, “Goodbye”, ug "Salamat sa tanan”? Nga sa kalit ikaw nahanaw, ug di na makit-an?
Saktong CLOSURE raman unta akong gipangayo, ultimo kana dili ko kahangyo?
Even though makaingon ta nga naka move on ug naka let go nata, ug di na nato kailangan ang closure, maabot ra jud ta sa point nga makahunahuna og balik sa tanan. Kay usahay, we don’t really move on man jud bah, we just distract ourselves to get things going. We try to be okay bisan dili ing-ana kasayon, to be left hanging, with so many questions left unanswered. S/he asked you to take care of your heart, but s/he turned out breaking yours instead.
Usahay, especially kung kanang ikaw ra usa ug wala kay gibuhat, makapangutana nalang kas imong kaugalingon kung tinuod ba to’ng inyoha. Kung tinud-anay pod ba to’ng iyaha.
PARA SA MGA NANGITAG CLOSURE.
Bisan og ang iyang “sorry” dili mahimong enough to alter/correct his/her mistakes and even though it won’t fix you, maka ingon ko nga CLOSURE is a start.
CLOSURE RA AKONG GIPANGITA.
Ex, Ayaw kaguol.
Nagbuwag man ta nga walay klaro,
Usa ra akong klarohon nimo.
I’m not asking you to come back.
Natagam nako. So #NeverAgain.
Gusto ra unta ko makabalo kung asa ko nasayop ug nagkulang.
Gibusog man unta tikas gugma, pero wala ko na inform nga patay-gutom man diay ka.
Gusto ko makadungog sa imong “Pasayloa ko”
Dugay nako ganahan mo chat, mo text ug makigstorya nimo.
DAGHAN KONG ANGAY ESULTI NIMO.
I wanted to say sorry. Sorry for being too much and not enough at the same time.
Sorry kung akong gipugos nga magbalik ta.
I wanted to say I have forgiven you. For giving up on me, on us, even if all I ever did was fight for you, for us. Gipasaylo na tika sa imong pagpamakak, apil napod imong pagkamanyak, for cheating on me, for taking me for granted. BUT I STILL NEED TO KNOW THE REASONS WHY.
AND LASTLY, thank you. Thank you for letting me think I was in love. That it was all real. Wala ko gamahay kay daghan kong nakat-onan.
I’m not expecting for a response from you. I just hope that maybe one day, you’ll clear this up for me. Maybe ikaw mismo ang unang mo reach out nako. But for now, I’ll leave you with this.
Kung asa man ka karon, ug kung nag-unsa man ka karon, just know that I’m broken, still broken, and looking for that one missing piece, OUR CLOSURE.
-- to be continued next week
Thanks Izzy Pilapil for letting me use your photo as blog cover.
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