One-Sided Love and How To Deal With It

ONE SIDED LOVE AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
(WARNING: LONG AND PAINFUL)

"To be fair, I won't leave you hanging. So I’m giving you our closure. Hopefully this would me my last chat and our last convo. I'm tired and hurt. Everything I do would just remind you of your ex and your ex best friend whom you fell in love with. I no longer have my identity kay sila pirme imong mahinumduman. Cant you see, they left you. And the person who's here for you and would do everything for you is hurting, you’re hurting. Your eyes are clouded. You don’t see me at all. You see them instead. I don’t feel my presence being appreciated while you mean everything to me. Bisan unsa ko ka busy. I will drop everything just to entertain you. You're the first thing and the last person I talk to everyday. But never was there a time nga ikaw ang ni message og una. I know almost everything about you but never did you ask anything deep about me. Asking is a sign of interest. And I guess you are not interested. Never ko nmo gipangita. Feel nako mura’g samokan ka every time mo chat ko. Now, I ran out of reasons to stay because you never want me to. Guess I should never be a part of your life. Ako ra gipugos akong self. I wish wala nalang tka gi add. I wish wala nlng ta nagkaila. I was helping you then find yourself, but I end up losing myself. Salamat sa time. God bless ____. This is my closure. This is our closure."

Mao ni akong message niya when I finally decided to leave. I left because I know I already did everything. I left because I have to think about myself for a change. I left because I know walay padulngan. Tinuod gyud diay nga usahay kailangan ka mag move on bisan wala nagka kamo. Kailangan nimo buhian bisan wala pa nimo nakuptan. Kailangan nimo humanon bisan wala pa moy nasugdan. Unrequited feelings. One Sided Love. Lain-lain og tawag but same pain, same struggles, same dilemma.

I'm sure we've all been in a position in our lives where we've had feelings or been in love with someone who simply does not share the same view of you.
Kanang mangluod ka kung eseenzoned.
Magselos kung naay laing kuyog or kaestorya.
Hatagan og sweet meaning tanan bisan wala ra to niya.
Masuko kung dugay moreply.
Mangitag importansya, nya uyab mo?

This can be a tough thing to deal with. It is tough, very tough. Ang paghimo palang daan og decision is already a struggle, how much more dealing with its pain and rejection. Maabot ka sa point wherein kailangan ka mo pili, Do you have to let go? Fight for it? Try to change their mind? Play the waiting game? Or possible maabot naka sa point nga ethreaten nimo sya nga maghikog ka kung dili sya ma imoha?

For me, normally, once I find out that my feelings are unrequited, I will slowly let them go. Fighting for it is a TV/movie misconception, blame it sa sige nato’g tan-aw og teleserye and mga hopeless-romantic films. If you’ll come think of it, the time you spend wasting your emotions towards that person is the perfect time you could be spending looking for someone else, someone “better”, someone who might feel the same way too or would reciprocate our feelings.

This is just the first part of the blog, the second part will be about knowing when to walk away from Unrequited Love kay mostly diha ang struggle. For now I will share to you 5 ways on how to deal with unrequited feelings.

1. Be brave. Be brave enough to tell the person how you feel. Kay kung di na nimo ipagawas, motubo na ug mahimong dakong bugas sa imong nawng. Bitaw, walay mawala nimo kung mo tog-an ka, dako ang chance nga rejection imong madawat from the person, however, basin diay the feeling is mutual. Ayaw lang og asa pag ayo.

2. Be busy. Avoid the object of affection. Instead of spending long hours talking to that person, be more productive. The more you get in contact with the person, the deeper the feelings will become. Avoid being stagnant, or wala kay buhaton kay for sure mag hunahuna napod ka niya, ma tintal kag message niya. I know the feeling of acting like you’re busy, but in reality you’re lonely, but you have to do it.

3. Don’t take it personally. Di nato mapugos or masugo atong self kung kinsa atong elove, it’s not for us to decide. Ingon pa’s Jolu B Diago (akong friend), it’s a chemical reaction sa body (endorphin), so it’s a chemistry thing. If dili ka love sa person it doesn't mean that you're unworthy of love, or not good enough, the person may like you, but the feeling of LOVE isn't there. So DON’T blame yourself and the other person.

4. Be realistic. Accept acceptance. Sa 5 steps of grieving apil na sya, acceptance is always the key. Denial man ka pirme, mag sige kag asa nga basin diay pwede mo, basin machange iyang heart magka gusto pod sya nimo. You will just prolong your agony. So better just face the truth and the fact nga wala jud.

5. Know your worth. True love, by definition, needs to be mutual, because it is a shared emotion—a give and take. If you think ikaw ra pirme ang ga sigeg give, and you know for yourself that you deserve to be loved too and be appreciated, then stop what you’re doing. Self-worth is very important para makabalo ka kung asa ka kutob, unsa ra imong dapat buhaton, and what you truly deserve.

Dealing with unrequited feelings can be difficult, so for your own sake, you have to pull yourself together and try to move on.

To be continued...